Coping with a disaster or traumatic event (and when to seek help)

Coping with a disaster or traumatic event (and when to seek help)

This article was authored in partnership with wikiHow, and is also featured here on the wikiHow website.

In the aftermath of a disaster, it’s natural to feel lost, overwhelmed, or unsure of what to do next. As difficult as it can be, prioritizing your mental health can help you cope with loss and build resilience as you recover.

Managing Your Mental Health After Disasters

Connect with family, friends, and neighbors for mutual support and community. If you have the resources, start to take care of your body by eating well, getting rest, and moving your body. Limit your exposure to the disaster on TV or social media, and listen only to trusted local authorities and emergency relief agencies for instructions and updates.

Coping After a Disaster

Focus on your immediate safety and get medical care, if needed. Check on yourself, your family, and anyone near you who may be hurt or displaced. Take care of any urgent physical needs right away. This might mean seeking shelter if your home was damaged. This might also mean finding medical help for injuries, shock, or emotional or mental distress.

  • Make sure you have access to clean water, food, shelter, and medical supplies you need (inhalers, prescriptions, etc.). If you have to evacuate your home, you can pack a change of clothes, toiletry items, and anything else you may need for a few days if you’re unable to return home immediately.
  • Here are some initial emergency resources you can access:
    • FEMA: Provides initial assistance and has a helpline at (800) 621-3362. You can also apply for assistance at DisasterAssistance.gov.
    • American Red Cross: Provides emergency shelter options by zip code. You can also text SHELTER and your zip code to 4FEMA (43362).
    • Salvation Army: Provides emergency shelter options by zip code.
    • National Response Center: Call (800) 424-8802 for emergencies, or (202) 267-2675 if you can't access 800.
    • HUD: Provides additional support for recovery through programs and partnerships. You can call the HUD disaster line at (800) 304-9320 or email recovery@hud.gov

Try to get back in a healthy routine and take care of your body. Having a daily routine can help you feel more calm, in control, and ready to tackle any new issues that pop up. Jump back into your old routines as soon as you can, or create new ones if your circumstances have changed. Some important things you can do to take care of yourself daily include:

Find healthy ways to relax. When you’re stressed after a disaster, it’s important to find healthy coping mechanisms. Try some of your usual hobbies if you’re still able to practice them. Reading, journaling, drawing, listening to music, or cooking are all great ways to feel some normalcy and release stress.

  • You could also try mindfulness activities like meditating, yoga, breathing exercises, or self-affirmations. These can help calm your body and mind in a peaceful, nonjudgmental way.
  • Socializing, volunteering, being outdoors (if it’s safe to do so), or spending time with pets are also great ways to reduce stress.
  • Do your best to avoid smoking, drinking alcohol, or using recreational drugs. These may feel like they provide relief but actually increase stress on your body. This can make it harder to manage your emotions.

Stay up-to-date on information and developments from local authorities. Get your news and updates from reliable sources. This can include local government websites, police, fire departments, or disaster relief agencies. Accurate information is important. You’ll need to know when it’s safe to return to your home if you had to evacuate. You’ll also want to know where food and shelter can be found, as well as when normal public services will return.

  • Share trustworthy updates and resources with your family and friends so they can stay informed, too.
  • Avoid listening to speculation, rumors, or non-expert opinions on what to do. Correct information is vital to recovering as quickly and smoothly as possible.

Limit your media exposure to news or images of the disaster. Overexposure to coverage of the disaster can increase your stress and make your mood worse. It can also make the experience more jarring or scary for children. Take in only what you need to stay informed instead of letting the news coverage play for hours at a time.

  • Take breaks from TV, social media, the radio, or any outlet you use to get updates on the disaster and recovery efforts.

Connect with family, friends, neighbors, or colleagues for support. Community is important to recovery, especially in the immediate aftermath of a disaster. Check in with local friends and family who may have been impacted. See how you can help or what they may be able to offer you if you’re in need. Once immediate needs like food, shelter, water, or medical care are taken care of, try to do something enjoyable as a group. This can alleviate stress and add some optimism to the situation.

  • Assess everyone’s needs. Prioritize those who are most vulnerable like the older adults or children. For example, you could check in on a neighbor who is an older adult without power.
  • Make friends with new people you encounter, too. The larger your community and support system, the better!
  • Be patient with yourself and others while you establish a community. Everyone affected by the disaster is stressed and trying to get their feelings, possessions, and lives back together. They may not be ready to contribute much just yet, and that is ok.

Contact your employer if your ability to work is affected. Get in touch with your boss or coworkers if you’re now unable to commute to work. You may also have to let them know that you can’t work remotely due to power outages, or aren't able to return to work right away. Check your employee benefits to see what assistance is available. Then work with your employer to find a solution that works for you both.

  • For example, you may work out a carpooling deal with a coworker if your car was destroyed. Or your employer might be able to provide you with a new work laptop if yours was lost or damaged.
  • If the disaster has destroyed your workplace or made you unable to work, contact local employment support agencies for immediate assistance opportunities.
  • If you are a business owner, check all of your legal and insurance papers to determine what type of claims you can make. Then, make a to-do list of everything you must do to get your business operational again.
  • If your business survived the disaster, consider a temporary relocation if necessary. You can also post signs throughout town letting residents know you’re still open and able to serve others.

Make insurance claims and begin planning your financial recovery. If your home or possessions were damaged or your income is threatened by the disaster, you’ll likely feel even more stressed. Make an estimate of your monthly expenses, debt, and what it’ll cost to repair or rebuild your losses. 

  • Claim what you can through insurance for help paying for replacement items, home repairs, or medical bills.
  • If the expenses are too high, reach out to your bank, a free financial counseling service, or a free legal advice service for help.

Take breaks when you feel angry or overwhelmed. The stress you feel after a disaster can make you feel angry, irritable, and impulsive. You may feel like you are unable to concentrate or make rational decisions. When you feel these emotions clouding your judgment or affecting your relationships, take a step back. This can help you clear your mind and calm yourself down.

  • Try taking a short walk outside if it’s safe to do so, or practice deep breathing exercises to steady yourself.
  • Remember that it’s OK to feel a variety of strong emotions when you’re dealing with the aftermath of a disaster. Everybody reacts to disasters differently. It’s normal to have good days where you feel in control and bad days where you feel frustrated.

Leave major life decisions for another time if you can. As much as possible, limit the big changes you make to your life while you’re in the aftermath of a disaster. It’s important to get back to a sense of routine or ownership over your life. Making too many big or new decisions might make it harder to feel grounded or “back to normal.”

  • For example, getting a new pet while you’re still repairing your home (or looking for a new one) could contribute to you feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities.
  • Life decisions it may be wise to postpone could include things like leaving or accepting a job, moving to a new town, or starting or ending a relationship.

Honor and grieve your losses. Disasters are tragedies that can take friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, and pets from you. So, let yourself grieve. Feel your loss without trying to suppress or stifle your emotions. Attend memorial services if there are any to connect with your lost loved ones You could also consider having your own ritual or ceremony. Try journaling about your grief if you prefer to express yourself more privately.

  • You may feel the need to “get over it” quickly due to your challenging circumstances. But remember that addressing your feelings as you experience them will help you cope and rebuild more healthily in the long run.

Get help from a healthcare professional if needed. It’s normal to need time to recover and get back to normal. However, if you find yourself reliving the traumatic experience, having trouble functioning on your regular tasks at work or at home, or withdrawing from relationships after you have experienced a disaster, get in touch with a counselor, therapist, or doctor for help.

  • If you’re thinking about hurting yourself or others in any way, get help immediately.
  • Call or text 988. Help is available 24/7/365. Your conversations are free and confidential.
  • For more resources and places to get help, jump to Where to Get Help.

Helping Children Cope After a Disaster

Reassure children that they’re safe and there are people protecting them. Children may fear repeat disasters, so let them know that the disaster is over and won’t happen again any time soon. (You may need to repeat yourself frequently to get the message across). Tell them that there are people like firefighters and volunteers working to handle emergencies and protect them.

  • Reiterate that their safety is your main concern and that you’ll be there to protect them, too.
  • Avoid offering false promises like “you’ll never experience a tragedy again,” especially for older children, who could see through your efforts to soothe them.

Listen to your child’s fears and answer their questions honestly. Children get stressed by dangerous experiences. They may not fully comprehend what has happened. Listen to them when they speak about what they do or don’t understand. Once you know their specific fears, you’ll be better able to soothe them or give them the answers they need to feel more in control.

  • Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know” to a child’s question. Explain how disasters are hard for adults too. Being transparent and honest about what’s going on will help them trust you.
  • Remember that kids tend to personalize emergencies. They may be overly worried about their safety or the safety of their friends and family.
  • Use words and ideas children can understand to help them grasp the situation. Be prepared to repeat yourself often to make sure they know what you mean.
  • The amount of information you tell your kids should depend on their age and maturity. You can be more open with older children about the extent of the damage or your fears, but always express these thoughts calmly.

Limit their exposure to disaster-related media. Children are more susceptible to increased stress from repeated images of “scary” situations. Monitor their TV and online screen time. Put any information they receive about the disaster in context so they understand what they’re hearing or seeing.

  • For example, an image of a crowded ER might be scary for a child. But, explaining that the doctors and nurses are busy working to help people can make them feel more secure. This sends the message that there are adults prepared to keep them safe.

Stick to your normal routines as much as possible. As much as you can, keep your kids on their usual mealtime, bedtime, and playtime schedule to give them a sense of normalcy. If they’re in school, find out when their school will return to in-person instruction or normal hours, and ask teachers or administrators how they’ll explain the disaster and its effects in an age-appropriate way.

  • Ensure they get regular meals and plenty of sleep each night. This will keep them resilient to change so they are still able to learn, grow, play, and develop.

Help children find healthy ways to express themselves. Some kids may be comfortable talking about their thoughts or fears. Others may be more reserved or unable to express their feelings. Let them use play, drawing, or stories to relay their emotions or experiences of what happened. If they depict the disaster or tragedy, ask them about what they’ve drawn to get their perspective on it.

  • Then, you can help them “retell” the story and incorporate safety concepts you want them to learn, like calling 911 for help, to educate them on what to do in future emergencies.

Be a role model. How you respond to and talk about the emergency can affect how your kids will respond, too. Try to remain calm, solution-focused, and optimistic about recovery and the future. If you react with anger, stress, or hopelessness, your children are more likely to feel upset as well.

Give your children extra time and attention. Spending family time together makes kids feel safe and gives you more chances to hear about and observe how they’re coping. Children who’ve experienced trauma, loss, depression or anxiety before may have stronger, longer-lasting reactions to disasters than other children and require extra support.

  • Every child responds to disaster differently. Younger children may turn to you for support. Older kids and teens may turn to friends and social media for comfort. No matter their age or response, let them know you’re there for them.
  • Look for physical symptoms of anxiety or stress like headaches, stomachaches, or fatigue. Symptoms like these without an obvious medical cause can be a sign your child is overwhelmed, even if they don’t say it out loud.

Seek professional help if your child shows prolonged stress. Stress symptoms can include changes to sleeping and eating habits, concentration levels, mood swings, intrusive thoughts or worries, preoccupation with the disaster, aggression, or poor performance at school. If behaviors like these continue for weeks following a disaster, get in touch with their pediatrician or school counselor for help.

  • Reactions like this are common in the immediate aftermath of a tragedy. Most often, signs of distress will lessen over the following few days or weeks. If they don’t, it could be a sign your child needs more support in coping with the trauma.

Signs of Disaster-Related Distress & When to Get Help

Look for common symptoms of disaster-related emotional distress. Everyone reacts to tragedies differently. People who live or work in the disaster area may experience emotional distress. This includes first responders and recovery workers. People who are already at risk of harm from other situations like domestic abuse or food insecurity are also more likely to experience distress. The most common signs of distress include:

  • Changes in sleeping or eating habits
  • Feeling angry, edgy, or lashing out at others
  • Overwhelming sadness
  • Withdrawing from people and activities
  • Frequent lack of energy or fatigue
  • Feeling like you have to keep busy all the time
  • Unexplained aches and pains like constant stomach aches or headaches
  • Feeling helpless or hopeless
  • Excessive smoking, drinking, or drug use (including prescription medications)
  • Worrying a lot of the time or feeling guilty but not sure why
  • Having difficulty readjusting to typical home or work life

Know that disasters can also cause post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Feeling distress after a disaster doesn’t automatically lead to PTSD. But surviving a natural disaster can trigger PTSD symptoms immediately or even years later. Signs that you may be experiencing PTSD and should seek help from a doctor or mental health professional include:

  • Reexperiencing the trauma in a way that’s uncomfortable (flashbacks, nightmares, repeated intrusive thoughts).
  • Avoiding any reminders or conversations about the incident.
  • Changes in your thought or mood patterns (memory problems, difficulty interacting with others, negative self-talk, feeling blame for the event, depression, isolation, etc.).
  • Feeling constantly reactive (jumpy, agitated, irritable).
  • Physical symptoms like constant headaches, stomach pain, diarrhea, chest pain, or low back pain.

Get help from a professional if symptoms last for over 2 weeks. If your distress is not getting better within a few days or weeks of the disaster, it’s time to see a doctor, counselor, or therapist for support. You may also decide to seek support if your ability to work, concentrate, or maintain your relationship is affected. Remember, there’s no shame in seeking help; disasters are difficult, tragic events that take a huge toll on your mind, body, and way of life. You may be struggling to cope if you continue to have symptoms like the following after about 2 weeks:

  • Crying spells or bursts of anger
  • Difficulty eating or sleeping
  • Losing interest in things that previously brought you joy
  • Increased physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, and fatigue
  • Feeling guilty, helpless or hopeless
  • Avoiding family and friends
  • Increased alcohol or drug use
  • Warning: If you’re thinking of hurting or killing yourself or someone else, seek immediate help from a healthcare professional or crisis hotline.

Where to Get Help & Additional Resources

Review these mental health resources if you’re struggling and need support. You’re not alone if you’re fighting to take care of yourself after a disaster and need someone to talk to. If you’re unsure where to turn, consider one of these crisis resources to get help and determine what your next steps toward stability and recovery will be.

  • 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 or live chat at 988lifeline.org for 24/7, confidential support for suicidal thoughts or emotional distress.
  • Disaster Distress Helpline: Call or text 1-800-985-5990 24/7 for support for natural or manmade disasters.
  • Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 for 24/7 access to a trained crisis counselor.
  • 211: Visit 211.org or call 211 for help paying for food, housing bills, childcare, and other essential services.