Caregiver trauma: Why it happens and what you can do about it

Caregiving is meaningful, but it’s also hard. It’s difficult enough to deal with your own obligations and challenges, and having to help someone else deal with theirs can feel like too much at times. Being a caregiver also exposes you to events and stress that can be traumatic. The constant worry of reliving these experiences can put you on edge and have real effects on your mind and body over time.

While caregiving can feel lonely and traumatizing, you are not alone. In 2024, over 62,000 people who took a screen at mhascreening.org identified as caregivers. They were more likely than non-caregivers to: take a screen for PTSD, report experiencing multiple types of trauma, and be at-risk or show signs of ADHD, addiction, bipolar disorder, PTSD, and postpartum depression.

Caregiver trauma is a state of emotional, mental, and/or physical exhaustion that can result from caring for someone else. It can happen to anyone who looks after a loved one or helps them manage a health condition, especially over long periods of time. Caregivers are often family members, but friends, neighbors, or other people in a social network can also serve as caregivers.

Types of caregiver trauma

Acute trauma is caused by a single event. Some common examples are a trip to the ER, an encounter with the police, a suicide attempt, or an act of violence.

Chronic trauma builds up over time. It can be caused by the types of stressors that many caregivers experience daily, like feeling alone, money troubles, sleep difficulty, or general overload from caregiving.

Secondary traumatic stress (STS) happens when you are affected by someone else’s traumatic experience(s). You might see or hear about the person you care for going through something terrible,  like severe symptoms of their health condition or being mistreated.

Moral injury happens when you go through or witness something that goes against your values. This can range from systematic things like treatment denials to tough decisions like pursuing hospitalization against your loved one’s wishes.

Ambiguous loss is a form of grief that is associated with losing your loved one without them necessarily dying. It can happen if someone goes missing, but in caregiving, it’s more likely to be related to feeling like your loved one isn’t who they used to be.

Physical symptoms

• Trouble sleeping
• Stomach issues
• Headaches
• Constant fatigue
• Jumpiness or a sensitive startle response

Mental and emotional symptoms

• Racing thoughts
• Guilt
• Numbness
• Irritability
• Hopelessness
• Grief that comes and goes

Behavioral symptoms

• Avoiding places or tasks
• Checking things repeatedly
• Snapping at others
• Withdrawing from friends or activities
• Using alcohol or other substances to cope

Being a caregiver comes with certain stressors and responsibilities, no matter the health condition. But there are a few unique challenges that come with caregiving for someone with a mental health condition.

Stigma

While attitudes around mental health have improved greatly in recent years, stigma still exists. This can make a caregiver feel pressured to stay quiet about their experience or fearful that they will be judged for causing their loved one’s symptoms.

Crises

Mental health crises like suicidal thinking, self-harm, loss of touch with reality, mania, and/or severe panic are not only traumatic to witness your loved one going through, but they can also cause a caregiver to be worried about the safety of their loved one, themselves, and/or others. Crises can lead to repeated trips to the ER or encounters with law enforcement, and these experiences themselves can be traumatizing.

Relationship strain

During a mental health crisis, caregivers may need to make decisions or set limits to keep their loved one safe. When this happens, the person being cared for may feel like they have lost independence, which can lead to tension or arguments. In marriages and partnerships, this shift can make the relationship feel unbalanced or like both parties are not equal. If someone is caring for their parent, this type of role reversal can be mentally stressful. Caregivers may also feel guilt for making decisions or setting boundaries, especially when their decisions are questioned or not understood.

Hypervigilance

All caregivers try to make sure their loved ones don’t have relapses or symptom flare-ups. For mental health caregivers, this is often more complicated than watching diet, making sure medications are taken on schedule, and going to appointments. When mental health symptoms like irritability or irrational thinking are happening, caregivers may feel like they are “walking on eggshells” around their loved ones. This ongoing tension creates stress and uncertainty, making it difficult for caregivers to ever fully relax.

Over time, being on constant alert can turn into hypervigilance. Caregivers may feel pressure to anticipate every problem. This hypervigilance can slowly turn into overbearing behavior, such as trying to manage every detail of someone’s life or care. Holding on to the illusion of control may feel protective in the moment, but it rarely lasts. In the long run, the pressure to control everything often leads to stress, burnout, and guilt when crises still happen.

Systems issues

Having to retell (and relive) your loved one’s mental health story every time you see a new doctor, changing diagnoses, long waits for available beds or appointments, lack of culturally competent or affirming care, and insurance denials are just some of the ways that systems can traumatize and retraumatize caregivers and their loved ones.

Now that we’ve explained what caregiver trauma is, what the signs are, and the unique ways that caregivers of people with mental health conditions may be affected, you’re probably wondering what can be done about it. With the right resources and support, caregivers can work toward recovery, reduce guilt, and protect their own mental health while continuing to provide compassionate care.

Take a screen

Taking a quick mental health test at MHAscreening.org can help you determine if what you’re experiencing is PTSD, depression, or anxiety. After you get your results, you’ll get information and resources to help you decide on next steps.

Practice self-care

You’re probably tired of hearing about self-care and feel like you don’t have time for it. But, doing your best to eat well, move regularly, stay hydrated, and get quality sleep can make a big difference. As a caregiver, you know that basic care can go a long way in impacting how your loved one feels, and you deserve wellness, too.

Find support

Twenty-eight percent (28%) of family caregivers care for someone with an emotional or mental health issue – that’s roughly 17.6 million American adults who can relate to what you’re experiencing. Support groups, peer support programs, online forums, and support lines are just some of the places where you can find other mental health caregivers. Sharing stories and experiences can help you feel less alone and may also help you learn strategies for taking better care of yourself and your loved one.

Put together a care team

Beyond support for your mental health, it’s also important to find people and programs that can help you with caregiving responsibilities and lighten the load that you carry. Respite programs, drop-in centers, and day programs may be available through community-based organizations, local government agencies, or places of worship. It’s also reasonable to call on other family members to help contribute to caregiving responsibilities.

You can search for an MHA affiliate near you to help you find support and programs.

Be kind to yourself

Last, but not least, remember to show yourself compassion and grace. Caregiving is hard, you’ve been through a lot, and you’re doing your best.

Caregiver Help Desk – Call 855-277-3640 for free support. This service is available Monday through Friday, from 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. ET.

VA Caregiver Support Line – Call 855-260-3274 to get information on support services, counseling, educational services, and referrals to support staff at VA medical centers (VAMC).

Kindly Human caregiver peer support – An online service to match caregivers with others who have been through similar experiences.

If you or a friend are struggling with your mental health, take an anonymous, free, and private mental health test. It only takes a few minutes, and after you are finished, you will be given information about the next steps you can take based on the results.

Take a screen

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. You can also reach Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.