How to support young people in making change – without taking over

Young minds are full of passion and powerful ideas. Adults can help young people not just create change, but own it. Here’s how to mentor with respect, not control.

Start with trust

Trust is the foundation for meaningful mentorship, and it’s the adult’s job to help youth feel safe and supported.

• Show up consistently. Reliability matters.
• Build relationships before offering advice. Really get to know the young people you’re working with and appreciate them as unique human beings.
• Follow through on small asks – no broken promises.
• Lead by example and model the behaviors that you encourage.
• Listen more than you talk, and believe what young people tell you.

The most impact comes when youth co-create priorities instead of conforming to adult agendas.

• Ask: “What do you care about?”
• Support the causes they name, not the ones you’d choose for them.
• If they have trouble articulating their interests, actively observe what seems to be important to them and explore topics with curiosity.
• Validate even when their priorities are different from yours.

Youth-adult partnerships thrive when adults offer tools, not directives.

• Be a “guide on the side,” not the star of the show.
• Ask before jumping in: “Do you want help problem-solving, or just someone to listen?”
• Offer tools and knowledge. Your ideas are options, not mandates or solutions.
• Make space for mistakes and help them be seen as learning opportunities.
• Help youth prepare for moments of uncertainty so they can handle them with confidence and not feel incompetent.
• Build reflection into the process, not just at the end.
• Praise their ideas, don’t dwell on imperfections.

Youth-adult research partnerships reinforce that youth who co-design initiatives report higher skill development and empowerment. Adults must offer shared power, not token roles.

• Invite youth into decision-making spaces as equals.
• Include youth in meeting design and agenda setting. Offer the opportunity to co-facilitate sessions.
• Let them help design, implement, and evaluate projects.
• Incorporate youth feedback into real changes. Real engagement means real power.

• Ask: “What could get in your way?”
• Break down barriers by offering transportation, food, stipends, translation, etc. when possible.
• Explain unfamiliar systems (e.g., policy, public meetings) clearly.
• Help with preparation and debriefing. Don’t assume prior knowledge.

The youth you’re working with are advocates, but they are also students, athletes, siblings, caregivers, and more. It is important to remember that they are whole people with rich emotions who are still developing a sense of agency and confidence.

• Check in on how they’re doing, not just what they’re doing.
• Too often, we’re focused on results. Don’t forget to celebrate small wins throughout the process.
• Model rest and well-being by taking time for breaks, reflection, and fun.